Songs Mizzified
by BroadwayGeek24601
Summary: Just some songs I changed to be about Les Mis, or songs from Les Mis turned into songs about something else. My first contribution to the site! Enjoy!
1. French Rhapsody

Songs Mizzified

Well, hello, and welcome to my first ever contribution to ! I've actually been writing fanfics for a while, but I just got an account, so I have to copy EV-ER-Y-THING from paper to Microsoft Word…yurgh. Anyway, these are basically either a) Songs from Les Mis made so they're about something else, or b)Songs from something else made to be about Les Mis. Hope it's not sucky, read and review!

French Rhapsody

Valjean:

Is this the real life

Or just a fantasy?

My life sucks!

Gotta face the reality!

Open your eyes

Look up to the sky and seeeeee,

I'm just a poor guy

Don't need your sympathy!

It's all

Easy come

Easy go

Whatever price the bread goes

Really, really matters to me!

To me…

Javert

I just stole some bread

Thrust my hand through the window

It hurt and I said 'Ow!'

Javert

Life has just begun!

Don't let me spend it in a chain gang!

Javert, ooooooh!

Cut me a little slack!

It was a #ing loaf of bread, seriously!

Come on, come on!

It shouldn't really matter…

Javert:

Too late!

You worthless slime!

Baker:

You stole some bread of mine!

Javert:

You committed a crime!

So, Jean Valjean

You've got to go

Gotta go to the chain gang

Pay for your sins!

Valjean:

Javert, oooooh!

I don't wanna go!

Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all!

(Musical solo, as Valjean walks into Msur M after 19 years in prison)

Innkeeper:

I see the scary sillhouetto of a man!

Townspeople:

He's an ex-con!

He's very dangerous!

Creepy ex-cons scare me!

He is very hairy!

Innkeepers:

Close the door!

Close the door!

Close the door right in his fa-a-a-ace!

Valjean:

I'm just a poor man

No inn wants me…

Innkeepers:

You're a hairy ex-con

From a poor family!

We cannot risk

Accepting a monstrosity!

Valjean:

Easy out

Easy in

Will you let me in…?

Innkeepers:

No! We will not let you in!

Valjean:

Let me in!

Innkeepers:

No! We will not let you in!

Valjean:

Let me in!

Innkeepers:

No! We will not let you in!

(Etcetera…)

Valjean:

Oh mon dieu

Oh mon dieu!

Oh mondieu let me in!

Old Woman:

Shut up and go to that nice old bishop's house!

His house

His house

His hooooooouse!

(Valjean gets there, is let in, steals candlesticks, and the police bring him back)

Bishop:

So I show you some mercy

I'm a nice guy!

Then you steal all my silver and leave me to die!

Valjean: What…?

Bishop:

Ooooh

Brother!

Turn your life around, brother!

Just gotta be nice!

Valjean:

Just gotta act right

…outta here!

(Becomes a good person and skips away)

Oooooooh

I'm the main character now

That old bishop

He took up 75 pages

Now it's all about me!

ME!

There's my first little thing on this site! (sob) It's such an honor!

So, anyway, please review, no flames, more coming soon. Like I said, I've already got them all written down, I just have to transition them…Hope it wasn't too bad!


	2. You Can't Stop The Fight

Well, hello and welcome again! This next little number was inspired by my friend, who, ahem: is _very very fond of_ the musical Hairspray. Well, not so much suggested as forced, since the reason I made it was that she got this next song stuck in my head…Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Les Mis or whoever created Hairspray…(sob)

You Can't Stop the Fight

**National Guard**

You can't stop the National Guard

As they climb on up the hill!

**Joly:**(not singing) It's a barricade…

**Les Amis**

You can try to stop the people's voice

But you know you never will!

And you can try to stop our passionate hearts

But we're full of rebellious will!

**Grantaire** (staggers around)

The world keeps spinning round and round…

**Joly**

My cochleas are damaged by the banging sound!

**Marius**

I was lost till I found Cosette

Now she's gone away! (sob)

**Les Amis** (shrug)

And you can't stop the fight!

**Gavroche**

Ever since my whole life began

I found that if I shot well

I could shoot up a can!

And so I'm gonna aim and shoot well

The best that I can toda-a-ay!

**Les Amis**

Cause you can't stop the fighting of the iabaissed/b

When you make 'em all cry!

**Enjolras**

You're a cruel and unjust government!

Don't ya dare ask us why!

**Les Amis**

And if ya try to hold us down

We're gonna spit in your eye and sa-a-ay

That you can't stop the fight!

**Gavroche**

You can't stop a gamin

As he runs into the street!

Come on

We need some ammunition

…but do not follow me!

And if they try to shoot me anyway

I swear _c'est la faute de Voltaire!_

** Grantaire** (staggers around)

The world keeps spinning round and round…

**Joly**

My cochleas are damaged by the banging sound!

**Marius**

I was lost till I found Cosette

Now she's gone away! (sob)

**Les Amis** (shrug)

And you can't stop the fight!

Ever since we first saw the light

Even women like to come out and join the fight

We're not really against women's rights…

But anyway!

You can't stop the fighting of the _abaissed_

**Valjean**

Or the word from above!

**Enjolras**

You can try to stop the new world we've been

Dreaming of

But you cannot stop the people when they've had enough toda-a-ay!

Cause you can't stop the fight!

**Grantaire **(on floor)(slurred)

I can't stop my addiction

So, (unintelligible phra-ase…)

And I just cannot stop myself

When I see a jug o' wine! (hic)

And if they're trying for a rebellion

Well I couldn't give a d!

And the world's still spinnin' round and round!

**Joly**

My cochleas are damaged by the banging sound!

**Marius**

I was lost till I found Cosette

Now she's gone away! (sob)

**Les Amis** (roll eyes)

Cause you can't stop the fighting of the _abaissed_

When you make 'em all cry!

**Enjolras:**

You're a cruel and unjust government!

Don't ya dare ask us why!

**Les Amis:**

And if ya try to hold us down

We're gonna spit in your eye and sa-a-ay

That you can't stop the fight!

(get all somber and depressing)

Oh, oh, oh,

We can't stop our deaths

As they loom in the near future…

(happy again)

But tomorrow we'll be history

Of that we're very sure!

Cause tomorrow is a brand new world

And we'll see the government crack!

**Grantaire: (**staggers around)

The world keeps spinning round and round…

**Joly:**

My cochleas are damaged by the banging sound!

**Marius:**

I was lost till I found Cosette

Now she's gone away! (sob)

**Les Amis**: (Shout) SHUT UP!

And you can't stop the fight!

Ever since we first saw the light

Even women like to come out and join the fight

We're not really against women's rights…

But anyway!

You can't stop the fighting of the_ abaissed_

**Valjean:**

Or the word from above!

**Enjolras:**

You can try to stop the new world we've been

Dreaming of

But you cannot stop the people when they've had enough toda-a-ay!

Cause you can't stop the fight!

Aah, ah, ah

Ah, ah, ah

Ah, ah, ah

**Valjean:**

Ever since I first saw the sun

People've had to steal bread when the day is done! (shifty eyes)

**Enjolras:**

But now we're gonna fight for all of

Our freedom today!

**Les Amis:**

You can't stop the fighting of the _abaissed_

**Valjean:**

Or the word from above!

**Enjolras:**

You can try to stop the new world we've been

Dreaming of

But you cannot stop the people when they've had enough toda-a-ay!

Cause you can't stop the fight!

**Les Amis:**

You can't stop the fight!

You can't stop the fight!

You can't stop the fight!

You can't stop the fight!

**Guns: (a.k.a. orchestra)**

bang

bang

bang bang baaaaaaaaang

Whew, I won't even attempt to describe how long that took! That song is so long…Anyway, read, review, and wait for more! Emphasis on 'review', please please pleeeeeeeease review!


	3. Back Into The Big Light

…and here's another long-ish song. I'm not sure if many people will know this one, since it's from a different musical version of Phantom of the Opera (Not Andrew Lloyd Webber's!) shown only at the Hirschfield Theater…Oh well. I did it anyway! The original song is called 'Back into the Darkness', by the way, sung by the Phantom when he's being all pitiful…now it's Eponine!

Disclaimer: Me no own Les Mis. Me no own this version of Phantom. Boublil, Schonberg and Hirschfield own.

**Back Into The Big Light**

(Marius holds Eponine as she dies)

**Eponine**

Take me

Up into the big light!

Far beyond your loud friends

To paradise!

Show me

How it is to love you

For God's sake!

I'm dying here!

Kiss me when I'm dead…

M'sieur, I will feel it…

Javert's

Jumped into the river

Wait, that hasn't happened yet

…Whatever!

Must move

Toward the light!

Oh look, your barricade fell

Oh, that hasn't happened yet either.

Can't you see I've got two bullets

One in my hand

One in my si-ide!

Ow, (bleep)(bleep)

Ow, this hurts

But you're here

…So I'm good!

Bullet's still there, though…

Why don't you reach in

Take it out!

Just kidding

That is gross!

Pity me

Somewhat

Crazy!

Don't marry

That stupid bourgeois girl

She's a little ditz girl

Yah, ya heard me!

Save me

From being single…

Living in a dismal land

Where ev'ryone

Hates

Me!

To be

Banished by you, Mar-i-us!

Cast aside for some grisette!

I'm afraid my mind's undone!

Just won'tcha notice me

For ooooooonce!

Look upon the giant barricade

Me in my somber broken sta-ate,

But,

Please know

If you marry that little brat, then

Right into the big light

I'll

Go! (dies)

Hm…Well that was sorta depressing. Now, for my post-chapter-begging-session:

REVIEW, PLEASE, REVIEW!


	4. Barricade

…Wow, what is it with these long songs?! If you haven't guessed, this next one's huge too…it's a parody of Masquerade, from the better-known version of Phantom of the Opera! But first things first, reviews must be answered:

Broken Musket: Yay, thanks! And yes, I've tried to make the whole format more understandable, is it better? Oh, and yah, keeping the rhythm hasn't really been a strong suit of mine. Bear with me here. 

Enjolras.for.president: Thanks! Heh, wouldn't we all 

Bramblefox: Bohemian Rhapsody, by Queen. It's a pretty old song, actually, but it's just so parody-able! Sort of a mini rock opera.

On your second review: Yah, in the original on-paper version, those guys's verses weren't in there. I was wondering if they would work, so yay!

Thanks to you all! Exclamation points all around!! Now let's get going:

Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom or Les Mis…and if I did, I would take over and YouTube and DeviantArt with my newfound power found in owning the world's two best musicals!! (Maniacal laughter)

Barricade

**Enjolras**

M'sieur Combeferre?

**Combeferre:**

M'sieur Enjy?

Dear Enjy, what a great _emeute_!

**Enjolras:**

The prologue to a bright new world!

**Combeferre:**

And tonight

The oppressed

**Enjolras**

Will have done their best!

**Both:**

Drink with me!

**Combeferre:**

I must say all the same

That it's a shame the Nat'l Guard men can't be here!

**Les Amis:**

Barricade!

Guns and muskets on parade

Barricade

Hide yourself

So the Guard will never shoot you

Barricade

Rebels don't quite have it made

Barricade

Turn around

There's a sniper pointed at you!

Flash of gun

We're all blue

Stupid king

Silly goose!

Red and Black

Will it cease?!

There's dead guys!

We need a priest!

Muskets!

Take your turn

On the watch

On the sy-y-ymbol

Of the human race!

**Gavroche:** (Points to Javert)

He's a spy!

**Enjolras:**

_Sacre bleu!_

They know our plans

Kill the man!

**Les Amis: **

Who is who?

Who's the spy?

It's not I

I have got

An alibi!

**Grantaire:**

Absinthe!

Drink it in

Drink it up

Till you drown in the light and the sound!

**Les Amis:**

But who can wave the flag?

Barricade

Grinning rebels

Black and Red!

Barricade

**Grantaire:**

I have spilled!

**Les Amis:**

Let the spectacle astound you!

Barricade!

Dodge the bullets

Watch your head!

Barricade

Stop and stare

…but you're open for attack!

Barricade

Stupid spies

Are breathing lies

Barricade

Tie him up

Hey Valjean

We'll leave him to you! (toss Valjean a gun)

Barricade

Shoot the sniper

Hey, um, guys…?

Barricade

Run and hide

Everybody's shooting at you!

**Feuilly:**

What a night!

**Bossuet:**

What a crowd!

**Enjolras:**

Makes you glad!

**Combeferre:**

Makes you proud!

But we're lost…

**Enjolras**

But not bossed

Around by the King!

**Jehan:**

France's fears

Will end at last!

**Enjolras:**

A new France!

**Bahorel:**

Unoppressed!

**Valjean: (**Pops in)

Heaven blessed!

**Combeferre and Enjolras:**

Of equa-ality!

**Eponine:**

I have di-ied in peace!

No more notes

For me to post,

**Joly:**

Here's to health!

**Grantaire:**

Here's a toast!

**Marius:**

But Cosette is not here…

**Les Amis:** (ignore)

To the friends that are here! (Look at barricade)

And may its splendor never fade!

**Combeferre:**

New world!

**Feuilly:**

To a joy!

**Bossuet:**

To a change!

**Javert:** (tied up)

To an effing release!

**Les Amis:**

And what a barricade!

(Flashback to a few months ago, at a meeting in L'café)

**Enjolras:** (Key change)

Think of it

We will wi-in this thing

Look, we're regicides!

Just think of it!

**Bahorel:**

But why only think it?!

What have we to hide?!

**Combeferre:**

Please, Bahorel

We'll soon be free!

Check out anger management!

**Feuilly:**

Keep dreaming…

**Jehan:**

Don't let him commit any crimes!

**Bahorel:**

Fight!

What are you afraid of?!

**Combeferre:**

Please, Bahorel…

**Bahorel:**

Dumb opponents!

**Courfeyrac:(**Half mocking)

Temper, temper!

**Bahorel: **

Why aren't you all fighting?!

**Combeferre:**

You will understand in time!

(Bahorel runs into the street and gets arrested)

(Back to June 5th)

**Les Amis:**

Barricade!

Guns and muskets on parade!

Barricade

Accept your fate

The world will be honky-dory!

Barricade!

Rebels don't quite have it made

Barricade

Turn around

There's a sniper pointed at you!

Barricade!

Dodge the bullets

Watch your head

Barricade

Stop and stare

But you're open for attack!

Barricade!

Grinning rebels

Black and Red!

Barricade

**Grantaire:**

I have spilled!

**Les Amis:**

Let the spectacle astound you!

(Ominous chords, key change)

**National Guard:**

Why so rebellious

Good m'sieurs?

Did you think that we had left you for good?

Have you missed us, good m'sieurs?

**Victor Hugo:** (Meanwhile)

I have written them a novel!

(Runs to publisher)

Here I bring the finished book:

LES MISERABLES!

(Back at the barricade)

**Enjolras:** (Takes a stand)

We advise you to surrender!

**Jehan:**

I am filled with fear…

**Enjolras: **

Remember

I was voted Rebel of the Year!

**Valjean:** (Meanwhile, to Javert)

Your chains are now mine

But I'll let you GO! (Does so, Javert runs away)

Sorry for the abrupt ending, but that IS how the song ends. And sorry if the rhythm's off, 'cuz I was just writing it as the libretto says it is, and some voices overlap. Oh well, I think it turned out okay. If ya want to tell me otherwise, review! …but no flames, remember! REVIEW


	5. At the End of the Year

Sorry for the long-ish wait, I've just started a Phantom of the Opera version of Songs Mizzified (Songs Phantified) So I've been kind of busy, also including the end of school-ness. Answering reviews:

Annoynmouse: Poor Bahorel, got left out of the musical ): Thanks!

Enjolras.for.president: Thanks! And who doesn't love a little Bahorel? (:

TheHighestPie: Thank you! And yes, I have seen it (giggle)

On your second review: Whoa, 'genuinely hilarious', I'm so flattered! THANKS!

BregoArodShadowfax: I agree, it's hard to find songs that are parody-able, but once you start, it's hard to stop! It's pretty addicting (: Thanks!

Reviews, Glorious Reviews! Thanks to everyone! Now, remember in Song one where I said it could be a Les Mis song about something else? Finally decided to do one of those! I think you should be able to find out what song it is on your own…(that wasn't a clue). Read on!

At the end of the year

You're another year older

And the students of 8th grade have planned to rebel

The sevvies instigate riots

And the third graders will not keep quiet

One more day reading the book

To Kill a Mockingbird

We fangirls wanted Les Mis

At the end of the year

You're another year bored-er!

And the final exam doesn't add to the thrill

There are grades that must be passed

The pressure is so overpow'ring

The final fills us with fe-ear

At the end of the year!

**Principal:**

At the end of the year

You get grounded for failing

That's none of our biz

Just stay out of our hair

**Student:**

We have parents back at home

They'll kill me if I fail the test

If I don't get one more day,

I'd get, at best,

A D or an F

(To other student)

Have you seen how Ms. Foreman is fuming today?

**Student 2:**

With her 500 chins and sausage like hands!

**Student 3:**

It's because the buffet didn't serve breakfast today

Take a look at her girth

The ground sinks where she stands!

**Students:**

At the end of the year

You get sick of the teachers

And you surely can bet

That they're quite sick of you!

Will the finals never end?!

So we can begin the summer anew?!

Exams fill you with fe-ear

At the end of the year

**Squealer:**

(Sees cheater passing note)

And what have we here

A well-meaning student?

Come on, David, let's have all the news:

(Grabs note)

'Du-ude, Johnny

You must give me the answer

To question seventy-two!'

**David:**

Give that note back to me

It is none of your business

You with a g.pa. of 16.5

Is there anyone here who can speak in my name?

**Annoying guy:**

Hey, look, he's starting to cry!

**Mr. Smith:**

What is this fighting all about?

Will these two students separate?

These tests cannot be cheated on

Now, come on, students, settle down

**Student: **(Off to side)

Mr. Smith he thinks he's something

But it's we who run this town!

**Mr. Smith:**

I look to you to solve this out

And be as patient as you can

Ms. Foreman: (Lumbers up)

Now someone say how this began!

**Squealer:**

At the end of the year

He's the one, cheated on it!

And he oftentimes steals from the Lost-and-Found

I have reason to think he pays

Johnny to give him the answers!

And while we're all earning our keep

He's sneaking around

The principle wouldn't like it

**David:**

But sir

I've not written

Asking for answers

I merely was asking…the name of his cat!

Now this Squealer tattles on me

To dear Ms. Foreman

Who is very fat!

**Squealer:**

At the end of the year he's been nothing but trouble!

He cuts school in bathrooms

In halls he does run

He's a delinquent rule breaker

And he prob'ly won't get into college

So just expel him right awa-aaaay!

**Principal:**

Right my boy…

ON YOUR WAY!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ladida…oh, by the way, 'sevvies', in my school at least, is slang for 'seventh-grader'. Maybe it is in other schools too, I dunno…anyway, read, review, and put down that remote, 'cuz I'm nowhere near done!


	6. Clueless of Everything

…I've heard this next song is highly parodyable, so even though I've never heard it, I'll do it anyway. It's All Kinds of Everything by Dana, a singer in Ireland…Again, have been answering reviews through messaging, so let's go!

Disclaimer: Me no own nuttin'.

0o0o0o0o

**Cosette:**

Sunshine and daffodils

Butterflies and bees

Sheltered in my garden

I'm clueless, naïve!

No one tells

Me of neer-do-wells

Comitting crimes

I 'm clueless of everything

But singing in rhyme!

The death of a robin

Makes me cry!

Overly dramatic

A sucker am I!

City sights

Poverty, fights

Mean nothing to me!

I'm clueless of everything

I just told you!

Summertime

Rebelling time!

But I have no clue

June 4th

June 5th, …huh?

What happened to you?!

(Of course, she has no clue that Marius has been shot)

What happened

Did you fall?

**Marius:** (Delirious)

Music of the night…

**Cosette:**

I thought you were on holiday!

Did you get in a (gasp) …fight?!

I just said

I am fed

Up with not having a clue

I'm clueless of everything

Everything true!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I know it's an old song, and not many people know it (Heck, I just found out!) but whatever, I think it turned out fine…read, review, and wait for more!


	7. Les Mizzy Mozzidy Moo

…Don't ask me what I was thinking with this one. I was bored, okay?! I think this song is pretty recognizable (Almost to a fault), but it's from Cinderella…that's all I'm going to say. Oh, and this is song is mostly based off the book, too, except for The Vest, just a warning.

Disclaimer: I don't own Les Mis or Bibbiddi Bobbidy Boo from Cinderella (There, I said it)

0o0o0o0o0o

Ami de doo

Inspector be boo

Fauchelevanty de doo

Write down their lives

And what have you got

Les Mizzy mozzidy moo!

Young Cosette too

Alias Fabantou

Fauchelevanty de doo

First seventy pages, and what have ya got?

A rant about the Bishop, too!

50 pages about Fantine

A page on her dress, not muumuu

But the guy that we love

And never get enough of is

Our beautiful Enjy-poo!

Enjy de doo

And his red vest too

In Les Mizzy mozzidy moo

We, like, totally can't get enough

Of

Our beautiful Enjy-poo!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

…That was the weirdest thing I've ever done. And no, I'm not an Enjolras fangirl…I lurve Grantaire! Read, review, and don't get too freaked out.


	8. Of Drunkenness and Old Irish Slang

Apologies, fellow Mizzies; I'm afraid I left this odd little string of parodies off on an even vaguer note than is usually common with even me. But nonetheless; I return with but one parody, inspired this time by the awesome song entitled Tim Finnigan's Wake, originally sung by someone whose name I will perhaps never know.

-------------------------

Grantaire hung out at the Musain

A drunken Frenchman mighty odd

He could rant of things mundane

And likened rebels to the Greek gods

You'd wonder of course how he came to be there

"By juxtaposition" is the reply

No beliefs did he declare

Yet he died for one before the come July

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner

With yer trotters a rhythm maintain

I wasn't sure just how to rhyme all

This short but complex Irish slang

One day our 'Taire got rather full

His head felt heavy which made him shake

He ran into a wall and broke his skull

Shocked rebels stood there with looks blank

They plopped him down onto a table

Not knowin' at all what they should do

And Joly was doing all he was able

Not to claim "'Twas the swine flu!"

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner

With yer trotters a rhythm maintain

I wasn't sure just how to rhyme all

This short but complex Irish slang

His acquaintances in confusion sat

In this tumult ran a debate

For so suddenly was the drunken cynic

Consigned to a short and early fate

Young Marius began to cry

And so loud and obnoxious was he

That Enjolras, though with eyes not dry

Demanded, "Quiet yourself, Pontmercy!"

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner

With yer trotters a rhythm maintain

I wasn't sure just how to rhyme all

This short but complex Irish slang

Then Combeferre took up the cry

"Pontmercy, death must in silence endure

Screaming your lungs out never brought to life

any corpse, nor gave man any cure"

"Well, have you tried?" Marius replied,

"There's no harm in it anyway."

And he continued to sob soprano-high

While the his friends stood by with eyebrows raised

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner

With yer trotters a rhythm maintain

I wasn't sure just how to rhyme all

This short but complex Irish slang

Soon Pontmercy raised a din

And Houcheloup came to throw him out

She took a chair leg to his head

But missed in her attempted clout

And hit the deceased Grantaire instead

The skeptic looked up, bleary eyed

Seeing them all somber and grim

Said he, "Sweet Dionysus, did you think I'd died?!"

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner

Round the flure yer trotters shake

Still today Joly sits and muses,

"Well, he didn't have Swine Flu, at any rate."

I'm a procrastinator. And out of practice. And just weird. Even so, do be so kind as to leave a review.

AndAndAnd! I never said this was Grade A stuff. But if you must tell me it was deplorable in said review, do it respectfully, hm?

Oh, and I can't promise even now that I'll be more active with updates. More apologies, and gratitude for reviewing and putting it on you email alert lists. I barely expected to get any reviews back when I first started this…thing of mine. My utmost thanks!


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